The birth of our first baby Skye
"I feel a bit strange... I think this might be it", I said to Wes.
It was 7:00pm on Saturday the 28th April 2007 and my first labour had begun! I was extremely excited and a tad nervous at the same time. However, I kept telling myself that everything would be okay and I would be able to meet our baby soon.
It was 7:00pm on Saturday the 28th April 2007 and my first labour had begun! I was extremely excited and a tad nervous at the same time. However, I kept telling myself that everything would be okay and I would be able to meet our baby soon.
Approximatey 38 weeks
I called the hospital (Women's & Children's North Adelaide) and spoke to a Midwife. She advised me to try wait it out a bit longer at home if I could but because this was the first time I had ever been in labour I wasn't sure if I could wait much longer. (I also had no friends who had been in labour before so I had no-one who had recently gone through it to call and ask). The Midwife on the phone was very understanding. Looking back, I now wish I had've waited my labour out at home a lot longer than I did because as soon as I arrived at the hospital my labour began to slow down and I think it's because the environment I was in felt a bit daunting. (I truly understand why people have homebirths).
The contractions were intense but I was so excited! I knew that the task ahead wouldn't be easy but I believed that I was strong enough to get through it, and continued to remind myself just how many women in the world were going through the exact same thing at the same time.
I decided to have a shower at home before I thought about leaving for the hospital. The hot water on my lower back worked wonders for the contractions which were getting stronger and closer together. Between contractions I leant my head against the shower wall and kept telling myself that I could do this! When a contraction came, I knelt on the shower floor and rocked back and forth.
After getting out the shower, I walked around the house as I had heard that walking around and changing positions during labour was very important. (I just wish that I remembered this when it came to the birth)! When a contraction came, I would get down on the floor or kneel on the couch and sway my hips from side to side. My partner Wes looked so excited! He couldn't stop smiling! He was going to become a Dad soon and I began to feel even closer to him. :-)
Contractions were increasing and lasting longer and I really wanted a Midwife with me to encourage me. (I definitely would have benefited from hiring a Doula but at the time I had never even heard of the term "doula". I really should have educated myself a lot more during my pregnancy).
I called the hospital again and told them I was on my way. I tried to remain as positive as possible and I was so excited that we were getting closer to meeting our baby! We didn't know whether we were having a boy or girl and it didn't matter at all to us which gender baby was. We were just so grateful to have been able to conceive and grow a baby. (I know a number of people who haven't been able to have children and my heart aches for them). Wes and I were truly grateful to be blessed with a new life growing inside me.
The contractions were intense but I was so excited! I knew that the task ahead wouldn't be easy but I believed that I was strong enough to get through it, and continued to remind myself just how many women in the world were going through the exact same thing at the same time.
I decided to have a shower at home before I thought about leaving for the hospital. The hot water on my lower back worked wonders for the contractions which were getting stronger and closer together. Between contractions I leant my head against the shower wall and kept telling myself that I could do this! When a contraction came, I knelt on the shower floor and rocked back and forth.
After getting out the shower, I walked around the house as I had heard that walking around and changing positions during labour was very important. (I just wish that I remembered this when it came to the birth)! When a contraction came, I would get down on the floor or kneel on the couch and sway my hips from side to side. My partner Wes looked so excited! He couldn't stop smiling! He was going to become a Dad soon and I began to feel even closer to him. :-)
Contractions were increasing and lasting longer and I really wanted a Midwife with me to encourage me. (I definitely would have benefited from hiring a Doula but at the time I had never even heard of the term "doula". I really should have educated myself a lot more during my pregnancy).
I called the hospital again and told them I was on my way. I tried to remain as positive as possible and I was so excited that we were getting closer to meeting our baby! We didn't know whether we were having a boy or girl and it didn't matter at all to us which gender baby was. We were just so grateful to have been able to conceive and grow a baby. (I know a number of people who haven't been able to have children and my heart aches for them). Wes and I were truly grateful to be blessed with a new life growing inside me.
My family and friends were far too generous with the gifts they showered us with! Thanks Amanda for organising my Baby Shower!
At 8:30pm we arrived at Women's & Children's Hospital and were greeted by a Midwife named Kerry who was real nice! She had fantastic people skills and I felt so comfortable in her care. I really do believe that your birth experience has a lot to do with the type of support you receive during labour and the birth. I trusted Kerry and am forever thankful to her. She believed in me and I could tell she really trusted the natural birth process and that made me feel that I didn't need to worry. My body was made for this work... I could tell it wasn't going to be easy but I knew it would be so worth it! I was only 3cm dilated when I arrived at hospital. (Knowing what I do now, I know I should have laboured at home longer).
Wes and I got taken to our birthing room and the lovely Midwife Kerry told me that I was free to move around, have a shower, try different positions, use birth balls, heat packs, etc. (I just wish I took all her advice)! She told me she would give Wes and I some space but to call her if we needed ANYTHING what so ever. I was already getting so tired and wished I could have little naps in between my contractions but I truly couldn't. So, I kept my mind focused on the end reward! Contractions were all over the place and Wes was timing them with his mobile phone stopwatch.
Over the next 5 hours or so it was getting a lot tougher and I was getting very tired. I did start to panic a bit (which looking back, I now know how important it is to try and remain as calm as possible during labour). I started to say negative things like: "I'm scared, it hurts, I can't do this!" But, the Midwives and Wes were very good at reassuring me that I was doing a great job and were handing me a cup of water with a straw as my mouth was getting extremely dry.
I kept looking at the clock on the wall (which I wish I never did). Looking at the clock all the time made me feel like things were not progressing. It felt like I was getting nowhere but the very experienced Midwives could tell I was getting closer, and I trusted them. So, I kept my mind on the VERY IMPORTANT task ahead of me!
"It hurts, it hurts, it hurts", followed by some swear words. "I can't do it" (If I have any advice, it would be to not think negatively what so ever whilst in labour. It's so not worth it. The negative mindset caused me to panic). The Midwives offered me gas due to me being in such a panic. I took one puff and then violently threw it away! I wanted to do this myself! I didn't want to pass out from the gas. I had also heard it can make you vomit. I also told them that there was NO WAY I was going to have any drugs/painkillers. The pain was getting unbearable though but I wanted to give my baby the best start in life I possibly could and if I took drugs (pethadine or an epidural), it would cross the placenta and enter the baby's bloodstream and I didn't want that.
Okay, this part is funny to me but may not be funny to all...
POP! My waters broke (on their own, spontaneously) all over the Midwife Kerry's face, which Wes got to witness. Kerry had to leave the room to quickly wash herself up, poor thing. I wasn't worried about her leaving me as there was another Midwife that stayed with me.
I felt the urge to push, however I wasn't sure if I should or not? And, I strangely didn't even know how to push!! Which muscles was I meant to use? (I really should have done my research before the birth and asked other Mums what the pushing felt like).
After pushing for 15 minutes which was the most painful thing I have ever been through, one of the Midwives said I needed to be "cut" (an episiotomy). I was tearing and they wanted to allow more room for babies head. (But now I know that I could have prevented the need for the episiotomy (cut) if I weren't lying flat on my damn back)! My Midwife and Wes both encouraged me to get up onto my hands and knees or into a squatting position and I didn't listen to them as I was too scared so just lay there. I really regret not taking their advice. I needed gravity to get our baby up and over then bend. I know I'll never know 100% but I do STRONGLY believe that if I walked around more, squatted, stood up, etc whilst I was in the pushing stage that I could have avoided being cut. Being cut was the hardest and most painful part of the whole birth). It felt extremely un-natural as well as violating. To be honest, it makes me feel sick thinking about it.
Lying flat on your back whilst birthing makes the birth canal very narrow in comparison to birthing in an upright position which opens up the pelvis by 30% more! (If I had've known this before I could have saved myself from being cut).
Below is a fantastic picture diagram of the benefits of birthing in an upright position in comparison to birthing lying on your back (lithotomy position).
It is taken from 'The Doula Effect' and here is the link to read the whole article:
http://www.thedoulaeffect.com/VBAC.html
Wes and I got taken to our birthing room and the lovely Midwife Kerry told me that I was free to move around, have a shower, try different positions, use birth balls, heat packs, etc. (I just wish I took all her advice)! She told me she would give Wes and I some space but to call her if we needed ANYTHING what so ever. I was already getting so tired and wished I could have little naps in between my contractions but I truly couldn't. So, I kept my mind focused on the end reward! Contractions were all over the place and Wes was timing them with his mobile phone stopwatch.
Over the next 5 hours or so it was getting a lot tougher and I was getting very tired. I did start to panic a bit (which looking back, I now know how important it is to try and remain as calm as possible during labour). I started to say negative things like: "I'm scared, it hurts, I can't do this!" But, the Midwives and Wes were very good at reassuring me that I was doing a great job and were handing me a cup of water with a straw as my mouth was getting extremely dry.
I kept looking at the clock on the wall (which I wish I never did). Looking at the clock all the time made me feel like things were not progressing. It felt like I was getting nowhere but the very experienced Midwives could tell I was getting closer, and I trusted them. So, I kept my mind on the VERY IMPORTANT task ahead of me!
"It hurts, it hurts, it hurts", followed by some swear words. "I can't do it" (If I have any advice, it would be to not think negatively what so ever whilst in labour. It's so not worth it. The negative mindset caused me to panic). The Midwives offered me gas due to me being in such a panic. I took one puff and then violently threw it away! I wanted to do this myself! I didn't want to pass out from the gas. I had also heard it can make you vomit. I also told them that there was NO WAY I was going to have any drugs/painkillers. The pain was getting unbearable though but I wanted to give my baby the best start in life I possibly could and if I took drugs (pethadine or an epidural), it would cross the placenta and enter the baby's bloodstream and I didn't want that.
Okay, this part is funny to me but may not be funny to all...
POP! My waters broke (on their own, spontaneously) all over the Midwife Kerry's face, which Wes got to witness. Kerry had to leave the room to quickly wash herself up, poor thing. I wasn't worried about her leaving me as there was another Midwife that stayed with me.
I felt the urge to push, however I wasn't sure if I should or not? And, I strangely didn't even know how to push!! Which muscles was I meant to use? (I really should have done my research before the birth and asked other Mums what the pushing felt like).
After pushing for 15 minutes which was the most painful thing I have ever been through, one of the Midwives said I needed to be "cut" (an episiotomy). I was tearing and they wanted to allow more room for babies head. (But now I know that I could have prevented the need for the episiotomy (cut) if I weren't lying flat on my damn back)! My Midwife and Wes both encouraged me to get up onto my hands and knees or into a squatting position and I didn't listen to them as I was too scared so just lay there. I really regret not taking their advice. I needed gravity to get our baby up and over then bend. I know I'll never know 100% but I do STRONGLY believe that if I walked around more, squatted, stood up, etc whilst I was in the pushing stage that I could have avoided being cut. Being cut was the hardest and most painful part of the whole birth). It felt extremely un-natural as well as violating. To be honest, it makes me feel sick thinking about it.
Lying flat on your back whilst birthing makes the birth canal very narrow in comparison to birthing in an upright position which opens up the pelvis by 30% more! (If I had've known this before I could have saved myself from being cut).
Below is a fantastic picture diagram of the benefits of birthing in an upright position in comparison to birthing lying on your back (lithotomy position).
It is taken from 'The Doula Effect' and here is the link to read the whole article:
http://www.thedoulaeffect.com/VBAC.html
Bonding with our baby!
The head emerged which I couldn't believe that it actually happened. I saw Wes watching in amazement and he looked so excited and fascinated!
With the head out, I was feeling very relieved but from being cut as well as having 3rd degree tearing, I was in A LOT of pain but it didn't matter to me. All that mattered was that our baby was going to be birthed safely. Once the head was out, I knew it was all okay and I was getting OVER EXCITED to meet our baby! With the next contraction I pushed with ALL MY MIGHT and our baby's shoulders and body emerged and slid through. The body sliding through was the MOST AMAZING feeling in the world! I knew how important it was to hold my baby straight away and Kerry handed me our baby who looked so perfect! I cuddled "baby" and after some time Wes cut the umbilical cord which he felt very honoured to do. It made him feel very much part of the birth. (It breaks my heart to think of my poor Nanna who didn't have her husband with her at all 3 of her births. Most husbands/partners didn't attend their babies births in those days. I just couldn't imagine Wes not being there. He really loved the experience and I truly appreciated his support)!
Midwife Kerry said: "Do you want to know what your baby is?"
I found it funny that I hadn't even thought about the baby's gender! I was too caught up in the beautiful first moments of meeting our baby and it didn't matter to me either way what we were having. I was just so grateful to have been able to have a baby!
"IT'S A GIRL", said Kerry. Wes and I looked at each other and said "Skye!" (I have a beautiful friend I worked with named Skye and she has amazing looks! Since I became friends with her I always wanted to use the name)! And then Wes said "Skye Caitlin" as we knew that if we had a girl we wanted the middle name to be Caitlin. (My beautiful best friend's name is Caitlin and she is such a pretty and caring girl so it fit perfectly)!
 Breastfeeding Skye. (Thanks for taking this photo Caity). |
 Our daughters name! (Named after 2 very beautiful ladies)! |
I couldn't stop staring into our baby daughter's eyes! I held her close and kissed her over and over and wanted to cuddle her forever and ever!
I was so proud of birthing Skye all by myself and I felt great (not physically great due to the cutting and tearing that had unfortunately taken place, but I felt emotionally and spiritually GREAT. I really felt so good)! Mentally, I felt on top of the world and felt like I could now do absolutely anything and everything!
I held Skye close to my breast and she latched on and began to suck immediately! She seemed so very alert! She knew EXACTLY what she was doing. The Midwife told me that she was responding like a baby birthed with no pain medication does. So, I felt very proud that I did it all on my own!
I felt so amazing! I had never felt so good in my life! (I was in a lot of pain but it really didn't matter to me). I felt like I was on a high! I guess you could say I truly was HIGH! A natural high! It was this beautiful high I was on that helped me bond with Skye straight away, and for that I am truly grateful! I love how amazing our bodies are and how they are beautifully made to grow and nurture a baby and give birth, as well as breastfeed! It is all so natural but yet it all amazes me at the same time!
A doctor came in to stitch up my 3rd degree tear. The Midwife said if I was able to I could hold Skye whilst I was being "fixed". I tried so hard to hold her but I was extremely tense and nervous about what the doctor was about to do. So, Wes took Skye for me. I wanted so badly to keep holding her but I didn't want to accidentaly hurt her whilst I was being stitched up.
The strangest part was when the doctor entered. I kind of wished that my Midwives stitched me up instead but it was quite a complex cut and tear. I just prefer the way the Midwives connected with me on such a personal level. The doctor was nice and friendly but obviously as doctors are very busy, he had no time to talk. My Midwives were right by my side and Wes was nearby holding Skye. I just couldn't wait to be all stitched up so I could hold my new baby girl again!
After I was all stiched up, I breastfed Skye for 50 minutes. I let her feed as long as she wanted and then Wes cuddled her and stared into her eyes whilst my Midwife Kerry helped me into the shower. I was in an extreme amount of pain but it didn't matter because I was so happy. And very relieved that our baby was out and that I pushed her out myself. (Thanks so much to Kerry & Wes for all the words of encouragement, especially during the pushing stage)!
Even though my labour and birth was EXTREMELY hard work and real intense, I feel very proud that I got through it. It was from that moment that I knew that I would most DEFINITELY choose a drug-free birth again in the future. I felt such a HUGE satisfaction from my birth! I cannot even express with words just how great this moment was...
And 2 became 3.
This was the beginning of our beautiful family!
 Our first family photo! |
 We love you so much Skye! You really make us feel so complete! |
 I could not stop staring at our little baby... I sat in the back with Skye the whole way home just watching her.
(No doubt I was text messaging Caity whilst this photo was taken) |
 First bath at home |
 Fast asleep before we could even get clothes on her. Skye has always preferred sleeping on her tummy. |
 Skye wearing Daddy's hat. |
 Skye meets Skye! |
 "Skye Caitlin" with Caitlin...! |
Skye at 3 and a half on Christmas Day 2010 at my parents shack at Wongulla.
 Skye has Strabismus/Amblyopia in her right eye which she has had since she was a baby.
We patch her 'good eye' for 2 hours every day to force the 'bad eye' to be used. |
 We like to make patching fun and often Skye's toys join in as well! |
Skye is now 4 and this photo was taken the night her Nan & Auntie Amanda took us to see Disney on Ice!
(Skye is dressed as Tinkerbell)
Skye just turned 5!
Skye, we are so EXTREMELY grateful to God that we have you in our life! You mean so much to us and we love you more than I can possibly describe to you! You melt our hearts and you make Dad and I so happy to be your parents. Thanks for being such a lovely and caring girl! I love it when you tell us how much you love us!
